the script

I think it's as good as it'll get. Gotta shoot. But also have to fight the inexplicable chemical apathy I seem to have about movies - right when I need to be more motivated than ever.

lowest-rated on imdb is Disaster Movie !

Memo to the studio -- Who green-lit this ??????? Does anyone over-see the writing process and say "Hey, how about a story with more of a disaster movie premise driving everything?" Or "How about something actually funny?"Context: Yes, I have seen every prerequisite movie or TV item being referenced, so it's not like I don't get it. Some of those items were themselves a waste of time and attention, and it's not like these filmmakers have much to say about them anyway. They have nothing to say about disasters, about movies nor about disaster movies.I saw this movie on-line for free and I still feel owed something for the time it cost me. If it gets a 1 out of ten the single nugget of goodness might be the marketing. The posters did a great job in promising something that might be the last word on the Disaster Movie genre. The Irwin Allen era was pretty much covered by Airplane! Funny thing that. . .even young viewers who haven't seen Airport '77 let alone Zero Hour GET Airplane! and laugh with it. So it's not even a generational thing. This movie could have explored the late 90's preoccupation with the end. I have wanted to do something about competing asteroids reminiscent of Deep Impact and Armegeddon, certainly there is room for Titanic, Poseidon and various versions possibly clashing. One thing you EXPECT from that kind of premise is built-in tension. But Disaster Movie has none, mainly because it doesn't bother laying out any story really. It reminds me of kids with their first video camera running around and being this and being that - one pop culture reference after another - except without the charm. This is not a Mad TV or SNL skit fest either. Disaster Movie is the worst thing this team has come out with. It is bad in a why bother sort of way. They start with a spoof about 10, 000 B.C. merely because that is a current movie. It's not a hook or inciting incident or insight into the lead character. A prehistoric man of sorts gets stopped by someone referencing a Gladiator TV show, so they fight and "Amy Winehouse" pops up and burps for awhile. It's like each scene has the feeling that someone said "Okay, pad the running time." Imagine the most inept and uninformed improv group taking suggestions from an audience full of ten year-olds. Then imagine someone filmed that and got it into thousands of theaters. Disaster Movie does not play as a movie at all except in two scenes - or maybe I should call them beats: Out of nowhere, someone poorly imitating a fad pop singer is apparently killed and someone says, "She was a national treasure." Or a Manhatten loft modeled after the party scene of Cloverfield is full of young preppy types listening to radio or TV (which provides most of the movie's claim to disaster theme relevance) and a reporter says something like, "The ghetto has just been destroyed. But we're okay about that." That's the extent of the movie's edge. The movie insults Juno and Sex and the City without having anything valid to say about them. Diablo Cody's dialog sounds even better now after hearing some hack(s) attempt it. I mean, spoofing a comedy is uninspired enough. But someone (Is David Zucker still credited as having something to do with them? Tell me no) should tell them that having a character simply show up isn't a comment, a satire, a spoof, nor much of a reference to that character. Whichever actors IMDb lists as playing many walk-ons in different costumes haven't given the estate of Peter Sellers anything to worry about. In fact, they haven't given Leslie Neilsen and Charlie Sheen anything to worry about. Except that certain suits may decide spoofs are "bad box office" now, and for a few years, without looking at how this unnecessary marketing project came to be and why it fails. Now seriously before watching this be sure to watch No Country for Old Men, Juno, Cloverfield, Iron Man, Indiana Jones, Batman, High School Musical, Sex and the City, Armageddon, and even lesser movies like Jumper and LOTS of disposable TV not as preparation to understand this movie but so you won't be able to spare the 80 minutes or whatever it is that I sadly lost watching it.I don't mind having to take more time to compose this blurb if it will spare one other human being this example of splintered fingernails on the chalkboard of cinema.